WOMEN'S DOMESTIC ABUSE: A woman is raped while her husband watched and burnt with boiling water for not cleaning properly

With an estimated 4.6million women in England and Wales having experienced domestic abuse since the age of 16, refuge shelters are needed more than ever. From a woman locked in the cellar and made to have sex with strangers while her husband watched to one who had her children taken away after suffering a breakdown due to 10 years of physical and emotional abuse, refuges offer domestic abuse victims a vital lifeline.

But with budget cuts and limited resources, refuges are closing down and struggling to function. FEMAIL talks to Constanze Sen, CEO of Bromley Women’s Aid, to find out more about the women she helps, the support offered, and what people can do to help. With an estimated 4.6million women in England and Wales having experienced domestic abuse since the age of 16, refuge shelters are needed more than ever

But with budget cuts and limited resources, refuges are closing down and struggling to function 'I will always remember a call coming in from the police asking if we had any refuge spaces,' told Contanze, recalling the worst case of domestic abuse she has witnessed.

'We are full most of the time, but luckily we had one space available on that day. 

'They told me that they had just rescued a young mum with a baby who had been locked up in the cellar of her own house by her husband and had been severely beaten up and raped for weeks. 

'Both she and the baby were malnourished and severely traumatised.' Constanze explained that over the course of a few years the woman's husband had isolated her from her friends and family, and she had lost her job because she kept turning up late having been beaten by her husband. 

FEMAIL talks to Constanze Sen, CEO of Bromley Women’s Aid, pictured, to find out more about the women she helps, the support offered, and what people can do to help 'He mentally and psychologically abused her until all self-confidence was destroyed and she could see no hope or way out of her desperate situation,' she added. The abuse escalated and the woman was forced to have sex with strangers while her husband watched.

He stopped her from having any outside contact, taking away her phone and locking her up in the cellar every time he left the house.

'Eventually she managed to find an old mobile and smuggled it into the cellar. When he left the house, she made that lifesaving phone call to the police,' said Constanze. 'When she entered the refuge her face and body were so swollen and bruised it was impossible to tell what she would look like without the injuries. 'Both mum and baby started their long journey to freedom that day. 'But whilst the physical scars would heal, the psychological impact would stay with her for a long time.'

Refuges offer a vital lifeline to women like Fatima, who was beaten and raped by her husband, and Mia who was psychologically abused by her spouse

'The number of refuge providers nationally went down from 149 to 112 between 2010 and 2014. We are full 99% of the time and have to turn away about 10 clients for every one that is accepted,' said Constanze. This is just one example of the kinds of dire situations the refuge rescues women from. Constanze continued to tell the story of Fatima, a bright young woman from India who studied business and English who was married off to a distant relative in the UK against her will.

'When she arrived here her papers were taken away and she was permanently locked up in the house with her parents in law,' told Constanze. 'Her husband was abusive and made her compliant with violent threats. She had to perform cleaning duties by day for her in-laws and was raped by night.' Fatima was only allowed out of the house to visit the GP - and one time she had a visible burn on her arm.

'The GP found out that her husband had poured boiling water over her arm as punishment for not cleaning the house well enough.  'Fatima was referred to us from her GP who reacted fast, and she came directly to the refuge without ever going home again.' There's also the story of Mia, a mum of two who had been mentally abused by her husband, a respected doctor, since her first child was born. 

Refuge playrooms are managed by staff paid for by Children in Need who also arrange homework sessions and outings for the children 'He would constantly tell her she was useless, a terrible mum, and how nobody would want her if it wasn’t for him,' said Constanze. 'He was in control of all the finances and gave her minimal household money for her and the kids.

'He tried to make her feel like she was going mad - for example secretly moving or hiding items in the house.  'She was only allowed to wear the clothes he would approve of and wasn’t allowed to use any make-up – which he claimed made her look cheap.'  Mia's husband made her believe that if she reported him, social services would take her children away. But one day Mia broke down into tears at her children's school and told staff what was happening.

They lent her a phone to call the National Domestic Violence Helpline who arranged for a place at one of the Bromley refuges. 'Mia and the kids came straight from the school to the refuge with only the clothes they stood up in and never looked back.' 

When she entered the refuge her face and body were so swollen and bruised it was impossible to tell what she would look like without the injuries

It has been known, however, for social services to get involved with domestic abuse cases, although refuge support workers can help with the situation. Constanze shared the story of a woman she can't name who moved to the refuge with her two children, age five and two. 

She had been in a physically and psychologically abusive relationship for 10 years.

The victim had been isolated from her family and friends and she suffered from depression, but she had found the courage to flee from her husband and ask for help.  'Shortly after she arrived at the refuge she had a mental breakdown, and social services took away her children,' admitted Constanze. 

However, with the support of the refuge support worker, she managed to work on her self-esteem and wellbeing. She attended support groups, slowly re-built her family support network and focused on improving her skills to have her children back.  'She’s now moved out of the refuge, she works and she’s been reunited with her children. This empowerment work couldn’t have been possible without domestic violence specialist services,' said Constanze.

It's a vital service, but one that is struggling to function due to austerity cuts, said Constanze who looks after seven Bromley refuges which cater for up to 42 women and 60 children at any given time. 'The number of refuge providers nationally went down from 149 to 112 between 2010 and 2014. 

With Christmas around the corner, the women's refuges are in more need than ever. But there is a way people can help. Bromley Women's Aid is asking people to get involved with Project Shoebox 'I am doing all I can to keep these vital services open. There is no end of demand. We are full 99% of the time and have to turn away about 10 clients for every one that is accepted. 

'In England and Wales, 155 women and 103 children are turned away on an average a day as there is no space in refuges.' Those who do secure a space will be given support for daily needs as well as helping to deal with issues surrounding health, children, legal matters, work, education, housing, finances and personal issues such as self-esteem.

Refuge playrooms are managed by staff paid for by Children in Need who also arrange homework sessions and outings for the children. 

For security, the refuge locations are kept top secret and CCTV footage is streamed live to support staff's phones so any incidences can be picked up immediately.

When building their new lives, many of the abused women have found a future working at a refuge themselves. Which means they are well-equipped to help with new domestic abuse cases. 

People can donate essential goods such as toothpaste, shampoo, deodorant and soap. Pictured is Rachelle Denton, who is behind a crowdfunding campaign to raise money for distribution of the boxes, and Diane Faidy from the London shoebox collection point in Farringdon.

The products are packed into shoeboxes, gift wrapped and sent to women at refuges across the UK in time for Christmas. 'Donating essential goods is a very efficient way of supporting them in a traumatising but crucial moment of their lives,' said Constanze

'Many of the women who go through our refuge service feel driven to give back and utilise their unique insight into domestic abuse to help others,' said Constanze, adding, 'We have a number of volunteers who have been in our refuges who now run support groups and help out in refuges.'

With Christmas around the corner, the women's refuges are in more need than ever. But there is a way people can help. Bromley Women's Aid is asking people to get involved with Project Shoebox. People can donate essential goods such as toothpaste, shampoo, deodorant and soap, which are then packed into a shoebox, gift wrapped and sent to women at refuges across the UK. 

'Women come to the refuge with nothing but the clothes they wear and with limited access to funds,' explained Constanze. 'Donating essential goods is a very efficient way of supporting them in a traumatising but crucial moment of their lives. 'In addition, toiletries and beauty products symbolically give women the possibility to take care of themselves after years of physical, mental and financial abuse.' There are more than 40 collection points for Project Shoebox throughout the UK. To view a map of collection points or to donate money to help with the distribution click here. If you are a victim of domestic abuse call the National Domestic Violence helpline on 0808 2000 247